Shane session 1 19 Apr 21

Our story begins in the 3rd level of hell, with flames and lava everywhere.

Standing 2 feet tall, a peculiar pale pink brown speckled thing, close set deep black eyes, long spiraling horns, and horizontal ears. He’s wearing chitinous armor, but has no weapons.

He smiles at the giant dragon flying above, as his misaligned barracuda teeth gleam, his ears wiggling separate of each other He wishes he could be a powerful daemon, riding a dragon.

A chain snakes up and grabs his leg, and POOF, he appears in front of a warlock who says “I’m going to call you Shitbrain. I”m your master now, you fight for me”

The warlock is in mid-fight with some goblins, and demands that Shitbrain attacks, and due to the Level 3 spell, he has no choice.

Shitbrain heaves a deep breath and casts create bonfire that he pulls from deep out of the earth. Flames spew from his mouth, and the goblin is engulfed in flames, and disappears with a surprised look on its face. The warlock looks a little nervous, but realizes he has control. The warlock puts him in front, and Shitbrain takes so much damage that he dies and goes back to hell.

He’s pulled into a battle in a frozen wasteland, again in the midst of battle with 2 full grown yetis. This warlock says his name is Boxy now. Boxy unhinges his jaw, expands his torso and widens his rib cage, turning into a frog-lizard-demon creature, and attempts to scare the yeti. Wisdom save 4 - the yeti runs away in fear. The warlock looks at Boxy in respect. Again he’s put in the front of the battle, and again he dies and returns to hell. He looks at his friends, and sees that it’s constant. Everyone around him gets pulled out of their plane by chains, tossed into battle, and then dies, returns to hell, and the story starts again. And again, and again.

He gets pulled out of hell by a Yuan-Ti, a serpentine snake warlock. There are 4 people, including the warlock. The warlock offers to let him name himself. The tieflings, half-elf, stare at him as he says “MY NAME IS PULPLEPOX” Ashsnake is the name of the warlock.

They walk through the desert of the Deadlands as the sun starts to set. The party talks amongst themselves about this famed bone naga they’re looking for. If they can find it, they stand to make a ton of gold. Drasks, a high elf rogue with very fancy adventure gear. Perception 9 - Draska looks snooty, but their gear looks mostly unused. Ashsnake asks Pulplepox Plaque where he sleeps. Pulplepox says he likes to be not too hot, not too cold either. Air is better than water to breathe, sand is better than flames, here is okay. And PUPU plops down on the sand. As they party sleeps, he looks at the chain that binds him to his 527th warlock master. He hates the chain, with all of his self.

A female voice comes into his head “PurplePox, wake up”. He wakes and asks “don’t hurt me please”. The Whispering Lady references the chain, and asks if he’d like to be free of it. Perception 25 - all of the party seems to be asleep as Pulplepox freezes and looks around in fear. The chain on his left foot seems heavier and heavier all the time. The Lady reminds him of the bone dragon he so admires. She asks him if he would like to own that dragon, and even the entire Third Level of Hell. Pulplepox is delighted at this idea. The Whispering Lady asks if he could be a champion of hers. His little shoulders cave, and he looks around, then straightens himself up, squares his shoulders and brandishes his claws and says YESSSSSSS. Though he sees nothing, Pulplepox can feel a hand caressing his head. The Lady melts the chain tethering him to the warlock. Pulplepox is delighted to find that he’s free, but he’s still here, he hasn’t gone to hell! He looks around warily, but sees no trace of the chain.

The Lady says “no witnesses. These stupid people are entering a dungeon tomorrow, wouldn’t it be nice if they didn’t make it out, and their souls become yours?”. He offers to take them now, she tells him they have time to corrupt souls, but these need to be take care of. He looks at the warlock, the tiefling paladin and tiefling wizard, the yuan-ti warlock, and the high elf rogue. Pulplepox knows he needs to stealthily find a way to get them killed, without lettting them know his chain has been broken.

He examines them in the firelight. Pulplepox sneaks to the High Elf, Investigation check 20 - in the high elf’s gear he finds thieves tools, dagger, bow, basic adventurer gear, 15 gp. He sneaks to the paladin, Investigation 4 - as he’s going through the paladins armor, it slips out of Pulplepox's hand and clangs to the ground, waking up the party. Pulplepox immediately turns invisible, and tries to sneak back to his sleeping location. Stealth check w advantage 6 - as he’s trying to get back to his sleeping place, his footprints clearly appear in the sandy soil, and he entire party stares at his little footprints moving. The warlock asks “Purple, what the fuck are you doing?”. Pulplepox says he got scared, it’s a new place, he heard spooky spooky sounds and was scared, but went to go check to see if it was safe, for his master. Deception check 17 - the party can’t tell if he’s lying or just a weird ass creature. They relax, and tell him to stand guard, and that they’ll go encounter the naga tomorrow. The party takes turns standing watch after this, he has no other opportunity to examine anything.

The sun rises the next day, bringing an immediate sweltering heat. The party gets up and gets their armor on, though they are about 2 hours from the naga’s lair. Pulplepox keeps alert for an opportunity to arrange an accident. The party is forced to scale and then jump off cliffs due to the blasted landscape. The party scales the cliff, one member goes down first inserting pitons. Eventually Pulplepox is left alone on the cliff with only one party member. He tries to terrify Carmen the tiefling wizard by expanding into the giant scary toad monster. Wis save 8 - Carmen recoils backwards, takes one unfortunate step into thin air, and tumbles down the cliff. Performance check 3 - the party below can’t understand Pulplepox's wail of “Carmen noooooooo”, and to them it looks a bit like Pulplepox is celebrating her fall. Carmen, despite the efforts of the paladin, dies, her blood staining the beige sand dark brown.

Pulplepox takes the rope and pitons to the bottom, the party is sitting around Carmen, looking sad and reflective. Pulplepox doesn’t care, but attempts to imitate their actions. He sits with them and says “so sad, so sad”. The yuan-ti decides they won’t climb any cliffs anymore, frustrating the intentions of Pulplepox. As feather fall is cast, Pulplepox floats off the cliff with a very pissed off look on his face.

The party ends up several hundred feet below sea level, looking for the entrance to the bone naga’s lair, jumping down and down and down cliffs. The rogue pats around and finds the entrance, a secreted doorway in the stone. Draska asks for help pushing the door, Pulplepox holds up his little stick arms and says he will try. Strength check 9 - everyone is helping to open it, but the little creature’s efforts don’t help much, mostly the paladin helps.

The door swings open to a huge room, about 120 feet high ceilings, a far wall that’s unseeable, dim and dark. 12 snakes rush out the door as soon as it opens. They ask Pulplepox to scout the room, and he protests that Draska is the most qualified, as he’s a sneaky elf. Draska suggests they do it together, like a buddy cop movie. Pulplepox Agrees. Draska takes his hand, stealth check 7 - within seconds of entering the cavern Pulplepox kicks a rock, echoing through the room. They head to the right. Perception check 20 - Draska can’t see, but Pulplepox can, if Draska keeps walking with their hand on this wall, they will walk straight into black ooze covering the wall. Pulplepox believes he won’t be in danger, and encourages the high elf to continue walking forward with his hand on the wall. Draska tells Pulplepox that they’re doing a great job, and then turns their head to look at where they’re walking. D20 - Pulplepox asks hastily “what’s your favorite buddy cop movie”, Draska’s head returns to Pulplepox. “Oh wel it’s an old one, it’s got Will Smith and aaaahrrrggahhhhh”. Draska urges Pulplepox to go get help, Pulplepox exclaims that he doesn’t know which way to go. Strength save 20 - Draska pulls his hand out of the ooze, revealing a skeletal arm. Pulplepox offers to heal him, saying this stuff happens all the time where he’s from. Pulplepox starts to cast healing word, switching it to bonfire. Save Nat20 - Draska jerks backwards, with a small wall of flame separating them from Pulplepox, a look of realization on their face. Pulplepox inhales deeply and casts thornwhip. A huge tentacle erupts out of his mouth 24 hits - Pulplepox grabs Drasks around the neck, and drags his body into the flame, keeping his body roasting in the hell flame. Draska screams, but not for long.

The remaining two announce they are coming in. Hurriedly Pulplepox lifts up the remaining body with his spiky tongue and feeds it to the wall, which whispers it’s thanks. He casts dispel flame, removing any trace of the fiery murder. The others reach Pulplepox and ask where Draska is. Pulplepox trembles and points at the wall. Deception 12 - the others decide to attack the wall.

R1

Ashsnake - eldrich blast into ooze, 7 pts of damage. Bonus action to command Pulplepox to attack. Pulplepox is no longer tethered, but to keep up the ruse, opts to participate. He throws his “tiny quarter staff, more like a sixteenth staff” (DM) at the wall. Attack 13, no damage is done. Ashsnake consoles him that he’s trying.

Paladin Divine Smite - 16 dmg. Pulplepox sees a little piece of Draska’s clothes pop out and hit the ground.

Pulplepox Investigation check XXX - he doesn’t see the diamond shard that the ooze spat out directly on the floor in front of him. He asks the yuan-ti for a shard, very politely. Persuasion 17 - Ashsnake tosses him a shard, they like Pulplepox. Pulplepox casts thunder wave in an explosive cough from his weird mouth, in such a way that the others are caught in the blast. The wall is fine, but his two party members each take 15 points of damage and get pushed 10 feet away from him into the Black Pudding on the wall, taking 8 pts of acid damage. They scream for help from Pulplepox.

(The DM loses his mind that this cute little demon has managed to just sneakily nearly destroy the entire party)

Their screams echo through out the chamber, pleasing Pulplepox immensely.

Black Pudding - another 8 pts of acid damage, pseudo pod, another 33 points of damage. The paladin is embraced by the ooze, with the tentacles going into their throat, then their eyes, which explode in a shower of goo.

7 diamond shards and 3 Ruby shards are ejected sleight of hand ### - Pulplepox scurries forward and grabs all 10 shards, taking 5 pts of acid damage.

—

A pile of bones across the cavern start to rustle and a 16 ft tall bone snake with a massive head and an ethereal tongue rises up, and stares at Pulplepox, the only remaining living creature. Wisdom save 16 - Pulplepox says hello, and introduces himself. The naga casts Hold Person, and in his head Pulplepox hears the Whispering Lady in his head saying “It’s not your time”. Pulplepox turns invisible, reaches deep back in his mouth, grabs a handful of himself, and turns inside out (like a sea cucumber), and starts running for the exit. The naga dashes for Pulplepox, ending up 10 feet behind him, slifting (this is a word now- DM) through the rocks.

Pulplepox dashes and runs 80 feet, escaping out of the lair. Dex save 19 - the naga casts lightning bolt, Pulplepox has 4 hp left, but is resistant to lightning. A lighting bolt streaks out of the naga’s mouth, hitting Pulplepox for 3 pts of damage, leaving 1 hp.

Pulplepox uses his bonus to cast Healing Word on himself, and then spits out what looks like a big pink lung that expands over his body and stitches himself back together, regaining 7 hp. Pulplepox can climb up 4 cliff faces to get out or kill the naga. Pulplepox pulls his arms and head and legs into his armor like a turtle and transforms into a ‘bat like thing that is still hideous and greenish’, a bat with Pulplepox’s face. He flies up 40 feet with his bag dangling precariously.

The naga has no options, and shakes a metaphorical fist at the little green bat.

The Pulplepox-Bat flaps up and up and up, leaving the cavern of the naga, flying out into the world, untethered.

“It is only a matter of time before the pale night looms over this world”, the Whispering Lady says in his head, as Pulplepox flies off into the mortal plane, free for the first time. He feels better than he’s ever felt. He is free.

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