Session 6 - Beyond the Crystal Cavern

26 Apr 21

Our intrepid band of un-merry kidnappees have had a nice long rest in the town at the foot of the Citadel and the World Tree.

Arcturus and Mila wake. Well, Arcturus woke her up, she was sleeping quite comfortably until he annoyed her awake. Arcturus was pretty concerned about it being true or not that if they helped the World Tree, they could go home. He’s hearing things in his head, and they only go away when he’s taking a life. It’s all the time, in scary voices.

“You’re a failure, you’ll always be a failure, you’re never going home.”

Mila reassures him, but doesn’t seem overly concerned. But she consoles Arcti and promises that they’ll get out of this together.

“''You can’t trust anyone. Everyone is a liar. No one can be trusted.''”

—

The party breaks their fast with a lovely stew of unknown origin. Akafla shares his vision of the Cyclops-face and the name Zargon with the crew. It’s the best lead they’ve had so far, and he’s pretty pleased by it. He’s interpreting this to mean that they need to kill Zargon/the Cyclops.

The young guard, Harry, comes to get them and show them around. He’s not in his guard uniform, he’s come on his free time to show them around. When Akafla asks if they can trust him, Harry says, “ I mean, yeah sure, I wouldn’t carry a body for you or anything, I am a member of the guard after all”.

Akafla asks about a person named Zargon in the town,  to which Harry replies, “Well no, that’s an unusual name, isn’t it? Rather like walking around with a sign that screams ‘I’m a fucking murderer’. No nobody with that name lives here, but I guess I could ask around”. The party realize that a bright red Cyclops with a name like Zargon would likely be memorable, and they tell Harry not to bother asking around.

—

The party and Harry take off for a priest of the tree to chat and ask about the tree. Harry is in complete and total awe of them, thinking them  very exotic and fascinating. He’s almost flirting with the entire party, as though they’re one entity. When he asks about their weapons and their homelands, Rio snaps at him, “Where we come from, people mind their own fucking business”. Quite touchy today, our Rio.

They arrive at a huge cavernous building with beautifully carved and decorated doors celebrating the majesty of the World Tree. Harry tries to explain where they are, but every time he looks at Rio he flinches and stammers.

Akafla tells him to pay no mind to Rio, nobody likes him. Arcturus tells him to man up and put his shoulders back and be bold. He straightens up and says, in a firm tone, “This is the residence of the noble Semile, the priest of the Tree for this floor. I will try to secure you an audience.”  Arcturus whispers to him, “Hey, mate, that’s good but a little more....uh”, he gestures with his head downward, where he’s put his hand on his crotch as if to emphasize his manhood. Harry nods, and puts his hand on his crotch as well.

“THIS IS THE RESIDENCE OF THE NOBLE SEMILE AND I WILL SECURE YOU AN AUDIENCE”, he intones in firm and manly voice, and then barges in without even knocking. After some muffled conversation inside, he comes back out, still with his hand on his crotch, “YOU HAVE AND AUDIENCE PLEASE COME IN”. The gents look quite pleased with themselves and young Harry. Mila nods approvingly and puts her hand on her crotch as well, as though in salute. “I WILL WAIT FOR YOU HERE”, the newly minted stud informs them.

—

Our un-merry band files in to speak with the noble Semile. They start by asking for the whereabouts of a bright red cyclops, which Semile kindly mocks them for. They then ask how to get to the World Tree. Semile informs them that, “The tree can protect itself, it’s half a mile in the air and that tends to keep people away from it”. Although he’s joking, it’s clear he’s not about to let them get into the most sacred area of their part of the universe.

Mila isn’t sure if the noble Semile is keeping them in the dark about the group The Deathless or this bright red Zargon, or if he genuinely doesn’t know. Her Intuition 19 informs her that he recognizes the name, but that it’s a name of myth, like someone saying they’re meeting Hercules for lunch. Her brand of The Lady has a mild tingle, but nothing very important.

The noble Semile says it’s better if he shows them, and leads them on a hike up the side of a basalt hill, into a large plain. There they see a tendril curling down from the sky, coated with a blue-purple light or shell, or shell made of light. “We expect that this will touch ground in about 7 years”, the noble Semile informs them, “This is the closest to the ground. We expect a full tree rooting in about 15-25 years. You can see that someone would have to fly, but also”, he gestures to the many armored guards in orange cloaks, keeping a watch on the perimeter, “ they would be quite unable to get to the tree without observation”.

The noble Semile tells them of Bakkasul, the tree that was lost due to The Blight, and how that led to the forming of the guards and the priestly order. There were 5 trees that came down, but due to losing Bakkasul to The Blight, they have only three that have rooted, and this one which is preparing to root. Mila inquires about the source of The Blight, and is quickly disabused of the notion that the noble Semile will tell them, because, obviously, the priests and guard don’t want that to happen again.

Mila and Arcturus and Akafla question the noble Semile about why anyone cares about the Tree, or having it, or Blighting it. “Well, for the Power of course. We guard the Tree that it may take root, and the world will have peace and prosperity. But others would seek the power of the Tree for other means”. They dig deeper, wanting to find out what KIND of power they might get from the Tree. The noble Semile is very cagey about answering them, as that’s a priestly secret.

While they talk, Akafla quietly sends a prayer out and casts Divine Sense, and can feel an Infernal Presence behind and above him. He turns to look, and sees only a steep cliff wall made of basalt. He ponders the possibility of higher levels of the city being on top of the cliff.

Rio, having had more than enough of this chatting, aggressively questions Arcturus. “Why are we just talking? What are we doing here? Just waiting for a fucking giant to come and attack?”. The pair squabble a bit, and frustrated, Rio casts Fount of Inspiration???? and creates a spyglass. Handing it to Arcturus, he snaps “here, maybe now you can see a plan”.

Akafla seizes the opportunity to ask Harry what’s up that cliff. The headquarters of the Order, the Great Temple and, “where you would go if you needed to invoke....do some rituals”, young Harry stammers. The noble Semile needs to get back to work, so they ask Harry to take them to see the top of the cliff. He nods and sets out, stumbling a bit. He pauses, squares his shoulders, grabs his crotch, and leads the way in a much more purposeful stride.

“River, hey...”, Akafla motions her to slightly hang back. While at the rear of the pack, he tells her about sensing an Infernal Presence, and asks her to keep a magical eye out.

—

After far too long climbing up and up and up, the group get to the top of the plateau. “This is where we do important rituals and oth....”, begins Harry. “AHEM”, he grabs his crotch again. “THIS IS WHERE WE DO IMPORTANT RITUALS THAT PROTECT THE TREE AND KEEP IT SAFE”, he finishes. Artcurus nods approvingly “there he is!”, and grabs his nuts in salute.

The ground he’s referring to is a meticulously groomed sandy area on the top of the plateau. It appears to have been raked and cared for regularly.

Perception

Arcturus 25

River 14

Akafla 8

Ahbing 5

Rio 18

Mila 19

Akafla’s Divine Sense informs him that there’s something Infernal nearby, but he’s not sure where. Arcturus sees, plummeting from the sky out of the aether,  two bright red creatures with long nails, beaky faces with serrated teeth, long wings extended from their back. They scream in anguish and hatred of the party.

—-

Initative Roll!!

Arcturus 20

River 19

Akafla 7

Ahbing 15

Rio 15

Mila 6

Round 1

There’s a football sized hexagonal space with tiers like an amphitheater, with tiers about 15 feet wide, and at the bottom of the tiers is the sandy raked ritual area. The group is all roughly clustered together at the ramp entry to the hexagon. The beasts are 25ft up and 25ft distance away from the cluster. River’s Detect Magic senses indicate that the ground and walls under the sand are covered with runes.


 * Arcturus - prep attack with his crossbow, hold action.

Beast 1 - swoops down on Akafla and opens it’s mouth improbably wide and screechs this insane noise, requiring a Constitution Save from all

Arcturus 15

River 19

Akafla 11

Ahbing 15

Rio 19

Mila 18

Akafla is stunned (until the end of B1s next turn), all the others remain unstunned. A fine mist of blood descends from the hideous beast.

All but Akafla roll d20

Arcturus 10

River 11

Ahbing 13

Rio 6

Mila 11

They are this many feet near Akafla. They all feel the mist of blood and other fluids, spores or some kind of awful bloody mist.

Constitution must meet 14, if not, they’re poisoned for 1d10 of damage per turn. The blood covers Arcturus’s face, seeping into his eyes and feeling awful, thanks to a “nat 10” on damage. He takes his held shot, but misses.


 * Rio takes out 3 pink papers, and sits down, fingers flying.  He makes 3 large backpack sized spiders, that he sends to Arcturus, Akafla, and Ahbing, where they climb on and bite their wearers necks, granting +10 extra HP.  He places a small paper squirrel on the ground, which scurries over and sits on Akafla, granting him 1d8 Bardic Inspiration.  Rio then retreats 20 feet away from the group.


 * Mila runs 30ft far away from the group.  She nocks an arrow, places Hunter’s Mark on B1, and shoots 1 poison arrow and 1 normal arrow at Beast 1.  Poison 3d6 = 24  14 + 9 dmg, Normal = 27 9 dmg.  The poison arrow sticks in Beast 1, who flinches, and then reaches out with a taloned claw, removes the arrow, and then licks the poison off the tip with enjoyment.


 * Harry - he sees Akafla is stunned, and runs and shoves Akafla 10 ft out of the way.  Harry takes a brave manly stance, as a member of the Guard ought to.  He grabs his crotch.


 * Beast 2 - plummets towards Rio, who is off on his own without defense.  B2 lets loose with a horrid screech.  Constitution saving - Akafla is not damaged by the blood shower, but Rio is poisoned, although he doesn’t get stunned.

Round 2


 * Arcturus - climbs up to the next tier, unsheathing Naomi.  Acrobatics 22 - He leaps off the higher tier,  slicing into * the back of Beast 1.  He screams, a guttural, primal undecipherable noise of rage and bloodlust and furiously slices into B1 with all the hatred in his soul, transferring it into the beast as necrotic damage, for  59 pts of damage and 17 necrotic damage.  He looks at Harry and grabs his crotch.  (Grabbing your crotch is a free action - DM)


 * River - starts her Bladesong, and casts Slow, which affects both blood-splattering creatures.  She whirls and twirls in a fiercely beautiful death dance, as tendrils of energy reach out and bind the beasts, restricting their  movement (and pissing them off, quite frankly, but they can’t do anything about it).  River ensures she’s 15 feet away from other party members, for their safety and hers.


 * Beast 1 - enraged by the damage inflicted by Arcturus, and frustrated that it’s stunned prey was taken out of it’s reach, it rakes it’s hooked beak across Harry’s chest, catching him under the armpit and tossing him 10 feet away.  River suggests they can bury him with one hand on his heart and one hand on his junk, if needed.


 * Rio -  sees Harry slumped on the ground with blood pumping out of him, and splatters of blood seeping into the sand in a line from where he’s been tossed.  He reaches into his bag and pulls out a sheet of paper into hundreds of little paper.  “Look I have a trick for you.  Bye”, and he blows it into the face of B2.  He runs the 30 feet to Harry and yells over his shoulder “PAPERCUT”, and casts Spell of Daggers for 14pts of damage.  A small paper worm crawls out of his cloak and makes it’s way down to Harry’s crotch, providing him with Bardic Inspiration.


 * Ahbing - he calmly walks up to the large bloody winged infernal beast that’s about 12 feet tall, ripped open along the spine, thanks to Arcturus.  He grabs the head of the flailing beast in a headlock, grappling it downwards.  He pulls a John Cena, pretends to feint, and slaps it right in it’s ugly beaked stupid bloody face for 20 pts of magical bludgeoning.


 * Akafla - stands up, uses Misty Step to reach Harry, and Lays Hands on Harry’s ruined body for 20 pts of healing.  A black mist of power radiates from his hand, and Harry’s chest slowly knits back together.  He sees the Bardic worm on his crotch, but doesn’t grab it.  Harry gasps deeply, and Akafla stands over his chest in a protective posture.


 * Mila - sees that Beast 2 isn’t very damaged, pulls out her Oath Bow, and whispers, in a terrifying tone, “I choose you”.  She lets loose her arrow for 26 dmg, renocks, and deals another 28 pts of damage.  Her arrows fly true and slam into the creatures body, which appears to have some resistance to ranged atack, but is still rocked back.


 * Harry - his eyes cartoonishly wide, face covered in blood and gore, he looks around and sees Akafla standing guard over him.  He wisely decides to stay the fuck down.  Akafla puts his hand on his own crotch and gives Harry a nod, as if to say “I got you mate, you’re safe here”.  Harry looks at him slightly dazzled, as though looking at a holy sight.


 * Beast 2 - oh, it’s so pissed.  It’s prey has been taken away, it’s hurt, and these prey creatures won’t stop hurting it.  It moves towards River, the source of the magical bands that keep it from moving quickly.  It gets close enough to send a wash of acrid poison blood droplets over her.

Round 3


 * Arcturus - he is low on the back of Beast 1, having basically ridden Naomi down the beast’s back.  Channeling all the rage and hate, his resentment at being here, his anger at the Lady’s brand, he roars.  He uses all his strength and shoves Naomi deeper, until his body is buried in the cavity of the monster.  He slices his way out, as though being birthed in the blood fountain geysering out of the monster.  It dies in a final flapping of wings and angry, dwindling screech.


 * River - she sees Beast 2 is 8 feet away, and slashes furiously at it with her rapier twice, dealing 17 points of damage.  She moves away from the party and the beast, moving towards the center of the arena and away from the beast.


 * Rio - takes out red paper and makes an origami hopping frog, which he places on the ground.  The 7in tall frog hops towards the beast.  He casts Divine Inspiration on Arcturus.  He recreates a little paper beast, which flies in front of the hopping frog, who then destroys the paper beast, sending little paper shards everywhere, that reform into an orange falcon and fly to Arcturus.  Rio casts Vicious Mockery as this happens, emotionally wounding the remaining beast.


 * Ahbing - he is horrified at the bloody, sword wielding, face-tattooed THING that just burst forth from the now-dead monster he’s still got in a headlock.  He recoils in disgust, and rushes over to the remaining beast, jumps as high as he can, and secures it in a headlock.  He feints right, and slaps Beast 2 in it’s face from the left for 10 pts of magical bludgeoning.


 * Akafla - still standing guard over young Harry, he assess the condition of Beast 2.  It’s looking angry and hurt, but not yet out of commission.  He reaches into his pouch for a bite of intan and casts Moonbeam right on the winged motherfucker.  Ahbing is surprised that intan is edible.  The beam of glistening light does 8 points of radiant damage to B2, frying through a bit of it’s ugly bloody flesh.


 * Mila - her badass Oath Bow is still trained on Beast 2, waiting for the right moment to do more damage to it.  The thrashing of the beast, and her shock at Ahbing’s participation, slightly rattle her and the arrows just miss.


 * Harry - he stares amazed at Akafla with something like hero worship.


 * Beast 2 - it’s still wrapped in the unfriendly embrace of Ahbing, what counts as ears ringing from the fierce slapping it just took.  It tries to snap it’s hooked beak or claw with it’s hooked talons, but Ahbing is rendering it impossible to attack.

Round 4


 * Arcturus - he is covered in blood, but manages to sneak attack Beast 2, as it’s distracted by Ahbing, now giving it a noogie on it’s head.  Arcturus wipes blood out of his eyes, flinging it behind him, revealing the gleam of battle lust.  He raises Naomi high, whirls for more force, and chops at Beast 2 with all his might, for 14 pts of damage, severing it’s wing.


 * River - she’s had about enough of this crap.  She launches Firebolt at it, slamming into the side where it just lost a wing.  It reels with a cry of pain and anger, and dies, cradled in Ahbing’s arms.

—-

All has been silent in his head during this battle, and now a voice whispers into Arcturus’s head, “''Faker. Couldn’t even kill the final beast yourself. Faker...''”

Arcturus and Akafla notice shimmers around the ceremony grounds, and small bloody creatures start popping into existence around them. An invasion has begun....